Sunday, January 29, 2012

That dreadful morning

I awoke that morning to my phone ringing, it was a nurse from United Health Services where my husband had been a patient for a few days. The phone also awoke my five year old daughter, Rosalie, who was sleeping in my bed that night instead of in the room she shared with her baby brother. She had wet the bed, so I started a bath for her, I said good morning to my oldest who was up early and on the computer already. As I opened the door to Aiden and Rosalie's bedroom I remember thinking to myself that he must have been tired from playing with his cousins at my parents house the night before because he had slept through the night. I expected to go into the room saying "Good Morning Aiden" and be greeted with a huge smile and "I" (hi). What I walked into was my worst nightmare.

As soon as I opened the door and looked in the crib I saw the top of his head wedged between the mattress and side rail, his body hung towards the floor. I dropped the phone, knelt down and pulled the side rail away from Aiden's head. I will never forget how his lifeless body fell to the floor. I yelled "Aiden" and for a brief second I expected to see him lift himself off the floor. When he didn't move, I let out a scream that my children say the whole world could hear, and they will probably never forget. I picked him up off the floor and held him up in front of me. I started screaming, loud enough for my neighbor two houses away to hear me, "NO, NO, NO, OH MY FUCKING GOD HE'S DEAD, MY BABY IS DEAD". I then realized my other two children were in the doorway, Rosalie was just standing there in shock and Aaron was screaming "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD", he would have collapsed in the hallway if the wall wasn't holding him up. I knew I had to try to remain calm, so I laid Aiden on the floor and grabbed the phone. The nurse from UHS was still on the phone, and I yelled "HELP ME, MY BABY IS DEAD". She said, quick, call 911 and I did.